Women Building and Nurturing Resilience in Székelyudvarhely
The International Convocation of Unitarian Universalist Women, in partnership with the National Organization of Unitarian Women of Romania (UNOSZ), received a grant from the UU Funding Program for a program aimed at raising awareness and educating women about resilience. The second session of the three-session mental health training was hosted by the women's association members of the First Church of Székelyudvarhely on 9-10 February 2024. During the two-day training, coping skills and resilience were built through lectures and small group sessions.
The lectures and workshops took place at the Kriza János Home, while meals were served in the parish's Religious Freedom Prayer Room. Most of the thirty-six participants of the training came from the Unitarian Districts of Székelykeresztúr and Székelyudvarhely, but the most distant applicant came from Olthévíz, Háromszék District.
The presentations covered community resilience, quality time, being in the moment, sustaining relationships, but also family patterns and domestic violence. Crisis situations always arise, and if we have the knowledge to deal with them, it is worth passing that knowledge on. In Transylvania, the current generation of adults has not yet received this kind of knowledge in schools, and because women are the ones who drive the patterns within the family, if there is a change in them, it can also bring a change at a societal level.
In her welcome speech, Melinda Simó (head of the Székelyudvarhely District Unitarian Women’s Association, school psychologist, organizer) said that the word ‘resilience’, borrowed from physics, has such an intimidating ring to it that we need to use concrete examples to make the term easier to relate to. Ever since the Unitarian women from Székelyudvarhely started actively preparing, she has been looking for examples in her environment and, to put it in biblical terms, seek and ye shall find: In her apartment, her flowers are multiplying, her landscape designer child is rolling her eyes at the new arrivals: "Mom, another flower?" she exclaims when her mother tries to sneak a new one into their home. It's heart-warming when, while watering, she thinks about who gave her the flower and why.
The hardiest flowers are those that come not from shops, but from persons who grow houseplants in their homes. Her Aunt Ica has experienced many hardships, but the most painful for her was the loss of her son and husband, all in the space of a month. Yet she radiates hope, she sings, and her beautiful flower garden brings joy not only to her, but also to those who visit her. Aunt Ica gave her a flower that started to grow beautifully, but as the winter heating season came, the leaves withered. She didn't give up, pouring a little water between the dry leaves now and then and hoping it would survive, but there was no sign of it. The weekend before the training, Melinda had received a lot of flowers for her husband's birthday and was delighted to be able to display them. It was time to part with the withered plant, which showed no sign of life, but then she discovered that a new leaf was now spearing upwards after all. “This is resilience!” she exulted, and thought what a good opportunity this weekend was to be metaphorically watered by new information, good meetings, quality time together. She stressed that none of this would have been possible without the vision, ideas, and courage of Gizella Nagy (vice president of ICUUW), or without the precise, meticulous work, often in the background, of Zsófia Sztranyiczki (executive director of ICUUW). She thanked Csaba Balázsi, the church caretaker of the parish, for his usual tirelessness, caution, and enthusiasm. The voluntary work of the local women’s association members helped the event to run smoothly.
Friday's presentations started with Enikő Telman, a social and mental health professional. She has been the president of the Transylvanian Association of Life Defenders for more than ten years and has been involved in mental health activities in Székelyudvarhely and its surroundings. For five years she has been one of the leaders of the Listening to You telephone counseling service. She gave a lecture entitled “The effective use of our spiritual resources.” In the workshop she led, we were able to connect with each other and ourselves.
Rev. Erika Demeter, a mental health specialist from Korond, shared her thoughts on the topic of inner strength entitled “The power of the inner room”. The inner strength of prayer is what fuels our dreams, drives our goals and helps us to overcome life’s challenges. Through concrete exercises, she helped us find this inner strength that truly defines who we are and what we are capable of.
Izabella Szalczer has been a Reformed religious education teacher for fifteen years. She learned the Kett Pedagogy Method in Romania and in Germany. In her lecture, “On Inner Paths with the Kett Method”, she described the method, and then we used the colorful library of props typical of this pedagogical method to fashion our own creations.
On Saturday, Éva László, Ph.D., lecturer at the Faculty of Sociology and Social Work at the Babeș-Bolyai University in Kolozsvár, talked about relationships in her lecture entitled “Flexible bonds, saving relationships”.
Melinda Simó, school psychologist, in her talk, “Common paths. Resources for community resilience”, spoke about group resilience, community resilience and the power of community to hold together.
Ildikó Balázs-Fülöp, anesthetist, massage technician and lifestyle consultant, spoke about the value of the present time, the here and now, the momentary nature of life.
Erika Moldován, psychologist and therapist, and Gizella Nagy, mental health and grief processing method specialist, vice president of ICUUW, gave a presentation (“What do we carry forward and how?”) on our inherited and passed-on patterns.
The last session of the evening and the program was held by Andrea Varga, school psychologist, on "How quality time can help us to be more resilient.”
The written feedback from the participants showed that they appreciated the humorous, well-structured presentations and the workshops on getting to know each other and getting to know oneself, and they look forward to the continuation.
The next stage of this project will take place in Sepsiszentgyörgy, 19-20 April 2024.
Melinda Simó, Júlia Andorkó
Photos by Bence Fülöp